Journal Entry 6

My head is whirling with so many thoughts right now. From personal life, financial issues, and creative ideas. Sometimes I find it hard to concentrate on all of it. What to prioritize?

But God must come first in all that I do period. I need to live for Him and have faith that He will direct my life and His will be done. Scary sometimes to pray and not know if your prayers will be answered in ways that you imagine or hope for.

I hate the feeling of shutting down my business accounts by the end of the year but I don’t see any other choice. I am driven to create but not driven to build a business around it for some reason. Maybe the business came prematurely before I really knew what I want to build it upon and I am still trying to find myself.

I need to find patience and solitude in all of it. Peace. Maybe I haven’t displayed the patience and perseverance needed and that doesn’t help me figure it out.

However, I am really excited about sharing food photography with Andrea but also scared that this is just another ‘cool’ idea and it doesn’t last. Why am I this way? Why do I just scim the surface and not dig really deep into something to come out on the other side really being good at something?

Why do I always have to strive to be good at something?

Why can’t I find contentment?