Today, I am very irritable probably stemming from last night. I was so excited to create and then end result was frustration and self-doubt. I am angry today with the creative process and how I try so hard but seem to really get anywhere. Nothing seems to ever solidify with my efforts. Self-pity I guess but it makes me again question my priorities in life. Your hobby or passion doesn't have to become your full-time focus but when I can't seem to turn off the gears in my head thinking of always creating it is hard for me to balance it all.
I want to feel good at something creative. I want to be able to STICK and build a style. Maybe this is not my plan byut merely a way to take a break from life at times and I am trying to make it more than it is. Seems like that is my MO.
I am also not sure video is my thing either. Nothing seems to come of it and I just spend countless hours thining and planning for it. Then I do it and it is just PLAIN. My photos are PLAIN. I can understand the technical but it stops there.
So, what is the answer? Stop comparing and just create what I enjoy. Screw everyone else and what the world tells me I ought to be. I am sick and tired of chasing others styles, opinions, and accolades.