Journal Entry 1

I don't know where to start with this but somthing tells me to try it. I want to find the place where I am a kid again and creativity is effortless and it comes from my soul and not from what I see in the world. I don't think I am going to get stuck on doing three pages as the book suggests but more just document my thoughts everyday. I have never been one to journal so here it goes.

Today, my thoughts start both about spiritual and creative topics. Am I a Godly man? Do I try and live a holy life everyday? What can I do to use my talents to glorify the King and share what others are doing in this world to share the Gospel.

I struggle to find myself as a photographer. At least I feel that way. I try so many things and don't stick with any thing really. Last few months, it has been fine art architectural black and white photography and now product/food photography. Is this really what to do or did I give up on genres such as portraits and headshots because it was too much work to try and get clients? It's sure is easier to just go in the basement and shoot photos without posing a client. Well, I guess you still posing; just obkects.

I think going to the basement or studio is like going to my room when I was a kid to create. My private spot where I am peaceful and content and I can turn the world off. I spent a lit of time as a young child and teenager with the door closed. Life was hard and that was my place of solice. Maybe my love for hard rock music and dark contrast photos are birthed from some of the struggles growing up.

I want to be a creator for a living yet I am giving up hope and stiffling my passion and desires. Why? Not sure, but I don't sitck with anything long enough and that need to change. I doubt my value. I don't think I am good enough.

Product photography is really exciting to me and I think I can really do this I just hope I can keep the momentum and stick with the plan.